More of You: The Home Series, Book Two

  More of You

  The Home Series, Book Two

  By Gretchen Tubbs

  This one’s for you, Scott Tubbs-

  Here’s to picnics in the park with Peezer,

  Baby M&Ms and Rolos,

  Fires in the summertime,

  And sleepovers so I don’t miss class.

  I love you.

  Text copyright ©2015 Gretchen Tubbs

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form by any electronic or mechanical means- except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews- without written permission from its publisher.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or deceased, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Prologue

  Lucy and I decide to stick to the ‘rip off the Band-Aid strategy’ and head over to Mom and Daddy’s house. We call ahead to make sure everyone is home. Mom’s thrilled with the impromptu visit. She has no idea that we are about to shatter her world. Miller comes with us, too. We need him to take Ava out so Goose and I can destroy our parents’ lives without our foster-sister around. This is not a discussion for little ears to hear.

  Ava jumps into Miller’s arms the second we open the front door. My heart starts stammering in my chest. One day, a little boy or girl will be doing this to me. I will walk in the door, and I will be greeted by a happy, smiling face. I can’t wrap my brain around that little nugget of info just yet. I need to absorb the fact that I have killed my sister before I can think about the child I will have in about eight months.

  “Miller, I miss you,” Ava says, clearly excited to see him. Miller’s been scarce lately because of Bennett and Lucy. I don’t blame our friend one bit. It is a little nauseating to watch those two together.

  “Hey, princess. Let’s go find Claire and Thomas. I want to take you out. Think they will let us go get ice cream?”

  She screams loud enough to break glass.

  Lucy and I make our way out to the back porch. Daddy is on the swing, sipping on a beer. Another thought hits me—no more drinking for the next eight months. This just keeps getting better and better.

  My sister sits next to Daddy but keeps quiet. I guess she’s waiting for Momma to come out before delivering the blow. I fold myself in a chair on the other side, out of the line of fire. This is gonna be sooo bad. Mom comes out and is bracing for what we are about to hit her with.

  “Alright, girls. Spill it.”

  I wrap my arms a little tighter around myself and look down at the ground. This is all Lucy.

  “Goose, Band-Aid,” I whisper.

  She sucks in a giant breath and starts to speak.

  “OK. Maggie and I need to tell you what’s been happening, but I need you to let me talk. Let me get it out. You can say your piece after.”

  Momma and Daddy both nod their heads. Mom is already starting to get teary eyed. No one is looking at me, thank fuck. I witnessed everything she’s about to say first hand, but that doesn’t make this any easier.

  “Today I went to Dr. Amador’s office. Dialysis is not working. My kidney function is still on a decline. It is a relatively slow decline, but it’s a steady one. Getting a transplant is the only viable option at this point. It’s the only thing that will save my life. Maggie came over to meet us at the hospital. They ran labs to make sure we were still compatible, and they did some genetic testing to make sure she didn’t have the Polycystic Kidney Disease markers. The initial labs came back a few hours later.”

  Lucy stops and looks to me, waiting for me to butt in. Hell, no. She’s on a roll—why stop her now?

  “Maggie can’t donate. She’s pregnant.”

  Momma and Daddy are shocked, looking at me with such disappointment on their faces. Daddy goes to speak, but Lucy holds up her hand and won’t let him talk.

  “I’m not done. I will keep doing my daily treatments. I’m still on UNOS. There is no way to know a timeline for that. It’s a crapshoot. We can just pray at this point that I can get a kidney from the registry soon.”

  “Maggie, I’ll deal with you in a minute,” Daddy says in a pissed off tone, giving me a look I never expected to see on his face. “Lucy, I’m a match. You know this. We’ll call the hospital in the morning. I can go in and do all the tests they need. This can still happen.”

  “No, it can’t.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “A transplant from you isn’t an option,” she yells at him.

  “The fuck it’s not.” Daddy’s tone has gone from pissed to irate in a matter of seconds. He’s never talked to Lucy or me like this before.

  “I’m not doing that to you or Ava.”

  “You are my child, Goose, not her. I’ve grown to love that girl, but I’m doing this for you.”

  “Not if I refuse,” she says, sticking up her chin and trying to be brave, even though I know this is killing my sister.

  And, with that, his beer bottle flies through the air and crashes into the side of the house. He’s done with the conversation. He stomps into the house, cursing under his breath, almost taking the door off the hinges as he slams it closed. Momma finally decides it’s time to join the talk.

  “Lucy, you can’t just let yourself die. You’re being selfish. This isn’t just about you. Think about us for once in your life.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m doing, Mom. I’m thinking about Ava. I will not rip this family away from her. Y’all are so close to giving her a permanent home, a chance at a real family. If I let Dad do this, he can’t work for weeks, maybe even a few months. You’re not working right now. You think any judge will let you take on a child, much less one with severe medical needs? Then what? You two are the only chance she’s got. You want her back in that state run home? That’s how you got her in the first place, remember? No one wanted Ava, Mom.”

  “I’m not choosing her over my own flesh and blood,” she whispers, barely able to get the words out.

  “I’m not asking you to. I’m just in a holding pattern. I will keep doing what I’m doing and wait for a kidney on the registry. I’ll be OK. Everything will work out.”

  Momma and Lucy hold each other and cry. Momma comes to me next.

  I brace myself for what’s coming. I have essentially killed my sister. She’s dying, and it’s all my fault. I can’t listen to what she has to say. I feel guilty enough without Momma’s guilt, too.

  “We will talk about you very soon,” Momma says. I know she’s thinking the same thoughts as me, but she keeps them to herself for now.

  She goes into the house
, presumably to check on Daddy. I walk over and take Momma’s place, pulling my sister into my arms. The guilt I have over what I am doing to her is becoming too much for me to handle. I won’t blame her for hating me. I get myself ready for her attack. After a few silent moments she speaks, though it’s not what I was expecting.

  “Maggie, I don’t get it. How are you just finding out about this? You and Finn have been over for months. How could you not know?”

  “Umm, we were over, but then there was a little incident the other day involving the supply closet at work.”

  Chapter One

  This is the first time I go to a Wednesday night dinner alone at my childhood home. I’ve missed one or two, but I’ve never come by myself. My idiot sister is in self-inflicted exile, and Miller is too scared to leave her alone. She’s cut off everyone, including her too-good-to-be-true boyfriend, Bennett. Lucy’s got it in her head that if she’s dying, she’s doing it alone. That it’s somehow easier that way. Miller and I are not leaving her alone, though. Since we live there, it’s not very easy for her to get rid of us. I’ve been keeping her company, out of both guilt and depression.

  Lucy harbors no hard feelings towards me. Yes, my impending motherhood could not have come at a worse time, but she doesn’t hate me, thank God. Nothing would be worse. Well, except for the fact that I have to see my baby daddy every day at work, and it makes me feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest, stomped on, and thrust back in. In total chicken-shit fashion, I have called in sick under the guise of the flu, just to avoid Finn O’Leary. I’m not ready to see him, and I’m sure as hell not ready to tell him that he’s gonna be a father soon.

  I pull up at my parents’ and force myself to get out of my car. Daddy’s patrol car is in the driveway. Damn, I was hoping to beat him here. I guess it’s time to face the music.

  I walk in the kitchen door and instantly tear up at the sight of my parents. I don’t cry. Well, that used to be true.

  Fucking hormones.

  Momma is at the stove, and Daddy is right next to her, kissing her and trying to distract her from cooking. She’s swatting at him and telling him to go away, but her laugh is giving her away. She’s eating this up. They love each other so much it’s a little sickening.

  I’ll never find a love like this.

  I close the door, and they both look at me, their gazes losing all playfulness.

  I haven’t spoken to either one of them since Lucy dropped the pregnancy bomb a few weeks ago. I was giving them time to sort through it before coming back over here. Maybe they have cooled off. Guess there’s only one way to find out.

  I walk outside without saying anything and sit on the swing. I pull my legs up and sigh, resting my cheek on one of my knees. I won’t be able to sit like this much longer.

  I feel Daddy’s strong arms pull me in, and I lose it. I put my face into his shoulder and huge, ugly sobs leave my body. I purge myself of all the feelings I haven’t been able to get out in what feels like forever. From falling for Finn, to seeing him with his girlfriend, to finding out I’m having a baby, to learning that I’ve essentially signed my sister’s death certificate, I let it all out. Daddy rubs circles on my back until the sobs finally subside and I can breathe normally again. I’m exhausted from that emotional outpouring, but it was much needed.

  “Feel better?” he asks, his voice deep and emotional. He hates when any of his girls cry.

  I nod and wipe my face.

  “I needed that, thanks.”

  “Well, bear with me, ‘cause now I’m gonna say some shit that’s gonna make you feel bad again,” he says, and I feel myself stiffen and start to pull out of his arms. “What you did was completely irresponsible. How many times did your mother talk to you and your sister about having unprotected sex, Maggie? And you know how much your sister needs you. Lucy was depending on you. This is huge. You let her down, Maggie. You let us all down. I’m so mad at you right now, I can hardly look at you.”

  I go to move off the swing, bile rising up my throat, but he grabs me. I yank out of his reach.

  “No, Dad. I don’t need your shit. I’m giving myself enough of my own. This was not intentional. I didn’t go out and say, ‘Gee, I know Goose may need a kidney so she’s doesn’t die, but I really want to have sex without a condom. Maybe I’ll get knocked up. And, hey, if I’m lucky, I might get the clap.’”

  I’m fuming, and my chest is rising and falling at a rate that can’t be good for me or the baby.

  “You didn’t let me finish, Mags. Sit your ass down.”

  I’m pissed, but his tone is not one that I’ll ignore. I know better. I sit back down so he can finish his lecture.

  “I love you more than my own life, so I forgive you. We will deal with this, just like we will deal with everything else. Your Momma and I will help you with whatever we can.” He shakes his head and laughs, breaking the tension. “Damn, you got a mouth on you like your Momma.”

  “Funny you say that, ‘cause she tells me I sound just like you,” I say with a dramatic eye roll in his direction.

  Daddy gets serious and squeezes my leg. “What are you gonna do, Mags?”

  “There’s only one thing to do, Daddy. As screwed up as this whole situation is, I guess I’m having a baby.”

  “And, how does the dad feel about his impending fatherhood?”

  I don’t say anything, and Dad immediately freaks out.

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake, girl, you don’t even know who the father is?!?” he explodes, shooting off the swing, arms flying in the air. I can almost see the smoke coming from his ears.

  “Calm down. Yes, I know who it is, I just haven’t told him. We aren’t together anymore,” I mumble the last part.

  Hell, were we ever together?

  He sits back down and stays quiet for a while. Anytime my father takes a moment to choose his words carefully, I know that he’s about to impart some of his trademark wisdom upon me, so I get ready to listen and remember.

  “Maggie, I have done some things in my life that were good and some things that were not so good. There are two things that are the best. Two things that I am most proud of. Two things that I would not change for anything. Those two things are you and Lucy. I would not trade the two of you for anything in the world.”

  I look up at him, shocked. His eyes are glassy and filled with emotion. Wow. He’s never been this candid and open about his feelings for us. I know he loves us. He makes it a point to show us that he loves us every single day of his life. He’s just never given us the words. Words of this magnitude are usually reserved for Momma, not us.

  “You need to tell this boy about the baby, regardless of where the two of you stand. I don’t give two shits that you ‘aren’t together’, or whatever the hell you just said. You have someone else to think about now, Mags. It’s not just about you anymore. Don’t deny him the chance to love his child.”

  I shoot Dad a look. I can’t imagine Finn showing much emotion over anything, much less the fact that he’s gonna be a father. All he cares about are booze, drugs, and where he’s getting his next piece of ass.

  Guess that makes me an idiot.

  “Daddy, Finn isn’t like that.”

  “Ask anybody who knew me before I found out your Momma was havin’ a baby, they would’ve said the same damn thing about me. I wasn’t in the best place or makin’ the best decisions. A baby was the last thing that I needed or even wanted in my life. Your Momma and Goose changed that the instant I found out I was gonna be a dad, and I’ve never looked back. Maggie, you have to give him the chance to prove you wrong. If he wants to be involved, let him. If not, your Momma and I will be here for you. This isn’t the 1950’s. I’m not gonna demand a shotgun wedding. He can be in this as much as he needs or wants. You have a family that will take care of you. We love you.”

  Daddy and I sit in the silence, enjoying the peace and quiet, not in any rush to go inside to join Momma and Ava for dinner.

  I think about that
night often. That was the last time I ever sat on the back patio with my father before he was ripped out of my life forever.

  Chapter Two

  I hoist myself off of the bathroom floor for about the tenth time today. Morning sickness, my ass. I have morning, afternoon, and night sickness. It’s all day, every day. I don’t know how I’m going to do this for the next seven months. This shit is for the birds.

  I go back into Bennett and Lucy’s living room and plop down on the couch with a huge sigh. I have to go back to work today. I can’t put it off any longer or I won’t have a job. Sure, it’s just waiting tables, but it pays the bills. I took a few weeks off when I found out I was pregnant. When I finally worked up the nerve to go back, Daddy was killed and I took even more time off to stay and help with Maggie and Ava’s recoveries from their surgeries. I needed to be there for Momma, too. She’s like a ghost these days, just a shell of the vibrant woman she once was. If it wasn’t for Ava, I don’t know how she’d be handling all of this. Thank God we have that little girl in our lives.

  “Maggie, you need to tell Finn about the baby. Like, yesterday,” Lucy says, her eyes moving to my belly. “How long do you think you are going to hide this from him?”

  “You can’t even tell I’m knocked up. I just look like I’m getting fat. I’m blaming it on depression. This is nothing more than a chocolate baby,” I say, moving my hand over my belly like Vanna White. My shirt is getting a little too snug. I guess Goose is right. Time to come clean.

  Depression eating is the perfect cover, though. Hell, I am depressed. My life is in complete shambles. I lost my father. His death has shattered our family. Ironically, it has also given Lucy and Ava, our newly adopted sister, a shot at life. Such a cruel joke.

  Bennett pulls me out of my gloomy thoughts. “I know how your dad felt about this whole situation, Mags. Have you forgotten about my nightly visits with him? We didn’t just talk about your stubborn big sister,” he says, squeezing Goose a little tighter. “You came up quite a few times, too.”